[What if the collective of gnomes are the 7th Watcher?
Their gnowledge cannot be surpassed........ Speaking of knowledge, though. Suigetsu makes a face, but it's more reflexive than reluctant; he's a shinobi, so of course he has Secrets, but Personal Secrets™ aren't a huge currency with him, funnily enough. He just likes digging up dirt on other people more most of the time.]
How'm I supposed to know if it's an equal trade then... Ah, fine.
Might as well tell you somethin' about the time we totally failed to sneak out of samurai country. It was a whole big mess, too.
No?? It's called the Land of Iron, but the point is it's not one of the Five Great Shinobi Nations or whatever. Pretty much every major country's got a deal with us shinobi except that one -- that's why they're supposed to be the mediators for all the old geezer leaders an' all their annoying old problems.
Also, if you wanna target any of the leaders? That's a good spot.
[Sometimes, you just casually attempt to overthrow governments. It's fine.]
Hahaha! It's just the way it is. Not like any of the smaller countries are going to say No way, I'm greater unless they wanna get creamed. I told you the old leaders're annoying and that's part of why? The Kages're the ones that have been in power for ages, for most of 'em. Unless the previous one was killed or messed up in a war or assassinated or something.
Come to think of it, that happens more often than you'd think?
'Cause all most of them want to do is keep things the way they are. [...] Eh, not really my business. All we had business with was the Hokage at that point, anyway.
So, the point is we snuck in to go to a Summit of all the Kage leaders, yeah? We were there to assassinate the Hokage, 'cause why not... didn't really go the way we wanted, though. I still say if there wasn't a traitor, we would've made it through better. Our leader's just the type of guy to follow all the wrong people...
"'Cause why not," is a terrible reason to assassinate someone! At least have a conviction about it or something. If y'all were that half-assed, then no wonder a traitor managed to mess things up! You probably didn't even vet them properly!
He sticks his tongue out at her but he also looks inordinately amused. Look, everything was a mess and you gotta take entertainment where you can. That and giving Ulrika headaches is kind of funny.]
Hahaha, 'cause why not is mostly my reason for being there. There's some deep vengeance political reason our leader decided to go an' try to destroy his own country -- there's some family history there, you know?
But the thing is... I'm pretty sure he just stops seein' other stuff once he gets close to his goal. Seems to be a thing with him. We kinda had to rush, too; it's not like they asked us when to hold things.
I mean? Yeah, like, all of those? The point is that he's powerful enough on his own he just barrels ahead without 'em anyway and it's not like anybody can stop him. Rest of us are just along for the ride in case there's anything we're looking for along the way.
[Three guesses what he's picking up on the side of the road?? Also, please, humanity is the real monster blah blah, something. That is not the Naruto theme he is here for, you want the actual protags for that.]
And I mean, the rest of 'em worship him so there's pretty much no traitoring coming from inside the house. [there's a brief snicker] You don't want to know. Either way, traitor was part of a group we were working with. Akatsuki... Pretty sure they're behind a bunch of wars or something? Rogue ninja get to be a pain in the ass that way.
Anyway, the point is, it totally failed. But it's 'cause we were up against all that and the top brass of the bigger shinobi nations, yeah?
[Yeah, he kind of inflicted all this context on her so it would be less embarrassing when he got to the actual point.]
Don’t look at me, I was just there for the sword……
[Of course he was…………]
Point is, though, that was pretty much the lightest security’s going to be unless you wanna go through an entire nation’s worth of security. An’ it’s a secret to people here, isn’t it.
At least, it didn’t come up in Otamo, and that’s close enough…
That's about as good as it's goin' to get, yeah -- in the time you'd try to get to 'em back in their home strongholds, they'd be calling their allies in anyway. Best bet is to separate out the one you want, like piecin' off a deer from the herd.
[They're very much not deer, though...... more like angry rhinos...... Look, he didn't necessarily strategize most of this, he just had to survive it. Obviously.
There is nothing sus about any of these plots and plans. ☆]
Well, that's most of it! Then we tried to dress up as samurai to escape and got caught. Whoops.
We totally stole their outfits 'cause like, we're actually pretty sneaky when we want to be... They wear all this real thick and heavy armor, right, probably 'cause they're squishy and slow and their country's cold as hell. There's like, weird helmets and masks too, so you can barely tell who's who.
[....... yeah they looked really ridiculous]
That was the point, you know?
Turns out they can use chakra senses too, though. Really thought we were free of those annoying sensory types after we lost Karin.
[Karin doesn't deserve that jab but will he ever pass up a chance to take a potshot at Karin? No. Nah.]
You say that like we're supposed to know everything about 'em. That was my first time even seeing samurai!
[He sounds half-offended and half-laughing because look. Once again, maybe they didn't do perfect due diligence but once again he was not the one spearheading the dead-ass sprint into that territory.
It's way funnier looking back, really, and it was pretty funny at the time. Minus the jailbird life....... his profile was too real.]
'Least we got to miss the rest of the war, though... Anyway. That's me. What about you? What's all this Lily business you were talking about.
[Okay yeah sorry after the longest processing silence Suigetsu just busts out laughing. He can't help it, this is so much whiplash and it's all his fault for talking for too long to save his dignity--]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2021-11-11 10:31 pm (UTC)He just laughs a little and gestures between them.]
Yeah... Yeah. Pain in the ass week to get any of these assignments, but I'll do it if it'll get me stuff back.
Long as it's something ya haven't told before, that'll work?
[She's going to want something embarrassing in return though, huh.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 12:00 am (UTC)Uhhhhhh, uh uh, I am definitely not going first. It's your job, you have to take the initiative!
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 04:03 am (UTC)Their gnowledge cannot be surpassed........ Speaking of knowledge, though. Suigetsu makes a face, but it's more reflexive than reluctant; he's a shinobi, so of course he has Secrets, but Personal Secrets™ aren't a huge currency with him, funnily enough. He just likes digging up dirt on other people more most of the time.]
How'm I supposed to know if it's an equal trade then... Ah, fine.
Might as well tell you somethin' about the time we totally failed to sneak out of samurai country. It was a whole big mess, too.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 04:21 am (UTC)Samurai what? Is that it's name?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 04:40 am (UTC)No?? It's called the Land of Iron, but the point is it's not one of the Five Great Shinobi Nations or whatever. Pretty much every major country's got a deal with us shinobi except that one -- that's why they're supposed to be the mediators for all the old geezer leaders an' all their annoying old problems.
Also, if you wanna target any of the leaders? That's a good spot.
[Sometimes, you just casually attempt to overthrow governments. It's fine.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 04:52 am (UTC)[ was there a continent wide survey, please rate your top five nations to visit ]
Why would I want to target any of your leaders? They're not my problem.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-12 04:58 am (UTC)Come to think of it, that happens more often than you'd think?
'Cause all most of them want to do is keep things the way they are. [...] Eh, not really my business. All we had business with was the Hokage at that point, anyway.
So, the point is we snuck in to go to a Summit of all the Kage leaders, yeah? We were there to assassinate the Hokage, 'cause why not... didn't really go the way we wanted, though. I still say if there wasn't a traitor, we would've made it through better. Our leader's just the type of guy to follow all the wrong people...
no subject
Date: 2021-11-13 01:02 am (UTC)pinches the bridge of her nose ]
"'Cause why not," is a terrible reason to assassinate someone! At least have a conviction about it or something. If y'all were that half-assed, then no wonder a traitor managed to mess things up! You probably didn't even vet them properly!
no subject
Date: 2021-11-13 04:49 am (UTC)He sticks his tongue out at her but he also looks inordinately amused. Look, everything was a mess and you gotta take entertainment where you can. That and giving Ulrika headaches is kind of funny.]
Hahaha, 'cause why not is mostly my reason for being there. There's some deep vengeance political reason our leader decided to go an' try to destroy his own country -- there's some family history there, you know?
But the thing is... I'm pretty sure he just stops seein' other stuff once he gets close to his goal. Seems to be a thing with him. We kinda had to rush, too; it's not like they asked us when to hold things.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-13 05:42 am (UTC)[ bro just beat up some monsters into ingredients like the rest of us normal folk ]
Okay, so... you were there just 'cause. And, just to be clear, you weren't the traitor?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-13 05:49 am (UTC)[Three guesses what he's picking up on the side of the road?? Also, please, humanity is the real monster blah blah, something. That is not the Naruto theme he is here for, you want the actual protags for that.]
And I mean, the rest of 'em worship him so there's pretty much no traitoring coming from inside the house. [there's a brief snicker] You don't want to know. Either way, traitor was part of a group we were working with. Akatsuki... Pretty sure they're behind a bunch of wars or something? Rogue ninja get to be a pain in the ass that way.
Anyway, the point is, it totally failed. But it's 'cause we were up against all that and the top brass of the bigger shinobi nations, yeah?
[Yeah, he kind of inflicted all this context on her so it would be less embarrassing when he got to the actual point.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-14 12:40 am (UTC)[ maybe they all need long-term planning assistance... ]
So... none of this really sounds secret though. Like, if you did this big, showy attack, everyone back in your home world would know about it?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-14 03:46 am (UTC)[Of course he was…………]
Point is, though, that was pretty much the lightest security’s going to be unless you wanna go through an entire nation’s worth of security. An’ it’s a secret to people here, isn’t it.
At least, it didn’t come up in Otamo, and that’s close enough…
Plus I still got something up my sleeve.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-14 04:57 am (UTC)[ that's a little, hm, how do you say, sus ]
Alright, alright, keep going then. Or was... that it?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-14 07:58 am (UTC)[They're very much not deer, though...... more like angry rhinos...... Look, he didn't necessarily strategize most of this, he just had to survive it. Obviously.
There is nothing sus about any of these plots and plans. ☆]
Well, that's most of it! Then we tried to dress up as samurai to escape and got caught. Whoops.
[Sometimes you fail at cosplay.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-15 03:58 pm (UTC)[ dress... up?????????? ]
How bad were the outfits? Did you trip over yourselves? Was there a dumb hat?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 07:40 am (UTC)[....... yeah they looked really ridiculous]
That was the point, you know?
Turns out they can use chakra senses too, though. Really thought we were free of those annoying sensory types after we lost Karin.
[Karin doesn't deserve that jab but will he ever pass up a chance to take a potshot at Karin? No. Nah.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 01:28 pm (UTC)[ Ulrika says this, as if she'd bother checking if she were in that situation ]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 07:02 pm (UTC)[He sounds half-offended and half-laughing because look. Once again, maybe they didn't do perfect due diligence but once again he was not the one spearheading the dead-ass sprint into that territory.
It's way funnier looking back, really, and it was pretty funny at the time. Minus the jailbird life....... his profile was too real.]
'Least we got to miss the rest of the war, though... Anyway. That's me. What about you? What's all this Lily business you were talking about.
[Dish!]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 08:51 pm (UTC)[ oh boy ]
Do I have to? That's way less... political... stuff than the one you shared.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 08:59 pm (UTC)You've gotta! That was just the first more secret thing I thought of that didn't get out in Otamo.
[Like, the memshares sure shared a lot! What a pain!! But also he wants deets.]
What is it about, didja fail something in alchemy or what.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-16 09:26 pm (UTC)[ ugh ]
So... I might've, when I first saw Lily, thought-
[ she visibly struggles (thanks, honesty week) before blurting out: ]
-thought she was cute and wanted to get her attention so I said she was my enemy instead and picked a fight later!
1/2
Date: 2021-11-16 11:18 pm (UTC)I can't believe Ulrika is just this meme
2/3
Date: 2021-11-16 11:20 pm (UTC)Did you seriously--
You really--
Hang on--
[brb, double-dying]
3/3
Date: 2021-11-16 11:21 pm (UTC)Suigetsu is deceased.]
(no subject)
From:1/2
From:2/2
From:3/2
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: